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Absolutely, undoubtedly, undeniably it’s family. Hearth. Coffee in the morning. Most of us have come back home. My perfect world is not having to interact with the Deplorables out there, Left or Right in person EVER AGAIN. I do however want to got to San Juan someday and see McGrath.
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I can agree with coffee in the morning. Outside. Like I’m doing right now.
family, for me, has been a double edged sword. I have the most amazing family life at home with my wife and kids, and my extended family is an all american shit show of epic proportions. Talking to some of my relatives brings that little bit of bile up while you wait for the next bit of gossip and backbiting.
I think I’m at a point where it’s family and work, still. I am happy doing things and helping people. Have been working on a couple of old cars lately with my son. That makes me happy.
I’m a full believer that there is never enough money for it to make you happy alone. There is probably never enough sex or parties or food or cars and boats or swimming pools to do it. That’s all hollow and it’s unfortunately what is most often equated with “happy.”
A long walk on a quiet trail is surprisingly happiness inducing.
if you had asked me what I thought of this question I could have easily hit you with the platitude that happiness is “something to do, someone to love, and something to look forward to” and I still think that’s 80 percent of it. But there’s possibly a better framing and I’m still looking for words for it.
It’s a question I ask cautiously because the older I get the more I realize that people who are truly happy are rare, and people who walk around in a lot of pain are common.
wonder how others think about it?
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Sic transit gloria mundi (so shut up and get back to work) -
GPN mentioned an important aspect for me, some consistent control of things. Since I lost my fiance in early 90’s, I eventually settled on a life that involved simply doing alot less than what I was trying to do before, which was in my own way everything I could think of or saw. I think the pursuit of happiness has been summed up well by FB Spike…the pursuit can drive you crazy or just make too damned tired.
I love my wife, I love my family (I love my brother more than ever because I have almost lost him twice this year now to the covid). Get a great workout, do a good job, get some rest, read a good book, watch the sunsets.
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I spent 40 years in the low desert between Yuma, AZ, Desert Hot Springs, CA and Ocotillo, CA pondering this question. It was too damned hot all of the time to get fixated on a hot drink like coffee! Just sayin’. I believe Thomas Jefferson erred with that “pursuit of happiness” line; happiness is a feeling and a thing of constant pursuit, and even when attained, it is momentary and once again elusive. Perhaps in his zeal to make that Declaration, he overshot the real goal a bit. Just my personal opinion. Pursuit becomes tiresome at times. After much consternation and effort on my part in this rat race, I now promote contentment, because “it” is attainable and sustainable. Solomon has a soliloquy called Ecclesiastes that discusses the futility of the pursuit of all kinds of things and attributes. Worth a read for those pondering such questions.
Everything I owned and labored for vaporized in the Camp Fire of November 8, 2018, but it is very likely that event is going to turn out to be a blessing for me! I am retiring 5 years earlier (67 days from today) to enjoy my wonderful wife of 36 years (come twelve days thence), my three adult children, their spouses and my three grandchildren (#4 is due next month!). Before that, I witnessed two men die in a trench collapse way back on September 13, 1995, which caused me a good deal of soul searching and priority setting that eventually led me to make more balanced career and lifestyle choices. This Frat Boy would have been dead by now had I not done such; in fact, some of the brotherhood were quite certain that I most assuredly should be dead already based on their knowledge of who I was and how I lived in my youth. But people can change.
I am a very blessed man.
"Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must lead." - Charles Bukowski
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De nada, mi amigo. The Grateful Dead song, “Hell in a Bucket” breaks down the analysis a little differently, but worth a listen if you have a couple of minutes. Often the destination ain’t all that. Link to the song:
"Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must lead." - Charles Bukowski
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Thanks Spike. We were two feet from losing our home in the forest, most of my camera and lighting/grip equipment, Forties and Fifties excellent sets of Bowman and Topps cards, etc in 1995. Only through the efforts of our Strike Team captain and pals (and almost running for their lives three times) and a change in wind did our home survive. We also had the sickening news from three friends in town that the house was gone while we were in a refugee center. I am greatly impressed by your recovery emotionally from a terrible loss and also join in grief for the folks who didn’t make it out. God Bless Sir.
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Family and friends. No question. One of the things that has been so difficult for me during this SIP is the inability to connect. I don’t mean by phone or text. To me that barely counts.
Inwas set for a trip to visit one of my daughters and son in law. Had to cancel. I see them once maybe twice a year. Hurts not to see them. Call me a wimp. But that’s the case.
Plus, and this is major whining, baseball is like a “friend”. It’s there everyday for me. I’ve missed that as well.
But at the end of the day, I know I am incredibly blessed because I’ve had a wonderful family both growing up and (even though divorced) as an adult. I’ve got terrific daughters who I enjoy being with tremendously and great friends. A couple that have been in my life for over 50 years.
I got a roof over my head, food in my belly. Wonderful family, wonderful friends a terrific girlfriend. When you get right down to it what else matters?
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[quote quote=750]Thanks Spike. I am greatly impressed by your recovery emotionally from a terrible loss and also join in grief for the folks who didn’t make it out. God Bless Sir.[/quote]
Thank you for the kind words. I didn’t come out of it totally unscathed. I now have to take blood pressure meds, although I am looking to get off of them if I am able to regulate my BP with a bit more exercise and healthier diet, etc. Sometimes something seemingly small gets to me. My public speaking voice now betrays me and cracks no matter how tough I think I am or how well I think I am doing. I just have to accept it and continue on. I helped the Butte County Sheriff’s office reduce their Missing List following the fire by tracking people down. Unfortunately, the grandmother of a young man that took my daughter to their high school prom lost her life in that fire. PG&E pled guilty to 84 counts of manslaughter last week. Somber moments.
My wife and I had led a lay team for a faith based 12 step meeting for all life controlling problems at our “former” church for 2 years until the Camp fire occurred. She and I had also counseled couples in crisis, since I took my lovely bride to hell and back a couple of times over the years when “Spike” was a hellraiser. I kind of miss helping others now, but I had to take a time out while dealing with what life dealt my family. We will certainly begin helping others again once I reconnect with my wife who already resides in Texas (where all of the kids and grandkids now reside too) following my retirement from my engineering firm here in Chico, California.
"Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must lead." - Charles Bukowski
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Control. I am not being flippant but Several studies now shows that people who control their lives, or perceive that they control their lives are happier than their peers. My life is one big egg hunt for above mentioned control feeling.
Editorial note. I never doubted Spike’s redemption for beneath the rough exterior always existed a solid, god fearing, family loving man.-
[quote quote=767]Control. I am not being flippant but Several studies now shows that people who control their lives, or perceive that they control their lives are happier than their peers. My life is one big egg hunt for above mentioned control feeling. Editorial note. I never doubted Spike’s redemption for beneath the rough exterior always existed a solid, god fearing, family loving man.[/quote]
I completely believe that control is an important element of happiness, so don’t take you flippantly at all, but I can’t believe it’s everything. I know or have known plenty of people who have enough money to have autonomy and who are miserable.
Now, my definition of control above is about financial control, which is certainly only part of the puzzle, but not all, and I understand that.
Is there something to happiness that is about understanding that what you control is actually under control, and that which you can’t control just matters a little bit less? I have seen people (and suspect one or two of our denizens here) who are absolutely miserable with the “direction of the country,” when in reality that direction is going to happen whether they like it or not.
Is there something about control over the things you can rationally control?
IDK.
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Sic transit gloria mundi (so shut up and get back to work)
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